Crucify the past, death to the old ways, Born again, You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness (Romans 6:18).

Here are some of my scribblings from a long time ago. I didn’t know Christ when I wrote these poems. These words are secular in conception and may even be unholy, proceed with caution. I can’t verify the dates these were written. Best estimate, I was 17 to 20 years old at the time.

Exploring these things from my past have shown me certain aspects of my old life that shall be nailed to the cross now that I am united with Christ (Romans 6:5). For I am now a new creation, seeking to be closer to God. I seek to be closer, and He draws near to me (James 4:8). God has shown me these old strongholds that I can now lay down. I had some fear about uncovering this past of mine, but as I started to transcribe my old pencil scribbles, I could feel the release and the truth. In my weakness, I found His strength.

As a teenager, I was confused and lost, but I can’t say I was suicidal, addicted or desperate. Others have always  called me things like: nice, gentle and kind. Yet, I was full of angst and rebellion, even as I relished in being offensive while not being loud about it. I did make noisy sounds through music: listening and performing. Listening to bands like Slayer or Nirvana as I wrote these poems, and smoking pot. I rejected the ways of the world, but had not yet found the commands of the Lord to follow.

I didn’t know there was a difference between a lamb and a goat (Matthew 25:31-33), both were simple farm animals. Yet, I always had an instinct to turn my back on darkness and the ways of the wicked world (1 John 1:5-7). I was anti-trendy, I didn’t get caught up in popular news stories or politics, and I was alternative. In high school, I did not consider myself a member of any single clique, but I felt I was part of them all.

I have darkness, but now I know the light (John 1:8).

I see my old self through new eyes. This is transformation. While I’ve always had some sense of being gentle and kind, I now have the opportunity to not only be justified, but also sanctified. Romans 6:17–19 confirms this transformation for we are on track with Paul in connecting obedience and sanctification.

God was taught in the only church that I attended prior to my teenage years. While I didn’t know Jesus or the advocate, I did accept and delight in God. I realize so many ways that He has always been with me, and I rejoice. I am grateful that my early church attendance did not install a strong religious spirit within me. I’ve always had a free spirit, which I’m learning to harness in my obedience to Jesus’ gospel. While I was young and leaning on my own strength and understanding, His hand was upon me (Psalm 37:24). God is with us always (Psalm 139:8).

Thank you, Lord. You are faithful and true. My path has your light and your glory is great. Praise the Lord in all things!

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Can’t relax in the grips of fear,
Crying out, but no one hears,
Everything falls for misery,
It all seems part of destiny.

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There are times when I must know,
These scars are destined to show,
How can time stand so still?
As I watch, the walls fly,
I’m stranded and wondering why,
Where does it go from here?

Future
The future rides with every breath,
The future is life, and the future is death.
Make a life that feels so real.
Before death has a chance to conceal.

Hide in a mask of terror,
Behold your life much nearer.
Live in song of happy life
It always seems to be too rough

Fortune and fame you might not achieve,
But your place in life is destiny.
Living and loving is feeling it real,
Every good feeling has to appeal

Our life the future holds
With life, the future knows

Money and Sales
Move your mouth all over the place,
Power of authority feeds your Grace,
Stand that familiar ground,
Domineer the drivers of pizza round,
Such is cause for a mental case,
Fat and Ugly, mouth so loose,
Jabber and seduce.
“Coax the buyer,
sell your things,
So many liars.
Coax the buyer,
Sell your product,
So many liars.
Take your profit.”

(poems by Scott, circa 1991-1993 from “fat lil notebook”)

Romans 6:5 (NIV)
⁵ For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we will certainly also be united with him in a resurrection like his.

James 4:8 (NKJV)
⁸ Draw near to God and he will draw near to you…

John 1:8 (CSB)
⁸ He was not the light, but he came to testify about the light.

1 John 1:5-7 (NIV)
Light and Darkness, Sin and Forgiveness
⁵ This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. ⁶ If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. ⁷ But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

Romans 6:17-19 (NIV)
¹⁷ But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you have come to obey from your heart the pattern of teaching that has now claimed your allegiance. ¹⁸ You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.
¹⁹ I am using an example from everyday life because of your human limitations. Just as you used to offer yourselves as slaves to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer yourselves as slaves to righteousness leading to holiness.

Proverbs 29:13 (NIV)
¹³ The poor and the oppressor have this in common: The Lord gives sight to the eyes of both.

Psalm 37:23-24 (NIV)
²³ The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him;
²⁴ though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.